summer bones
by bluestreetlights
Summary: your memories have slipped through sidewalk cracks, yet you remember being more. oc-insert. oc/?
1. snow

come on. come _on_. you don't deserve this. no one deserves this, not even shitty yuuji with his shitty plans and shitty face. you shouldn't say that but you couldn't care less right now. you're bleeding to death from a stomach wound and the sky is dead and cold, moon sliced in half, ugly as hell. fury sits in your chest, a beast still snarling through its death-throes now that you're bleeding red-gold into the snow. the goddamn snow. goddamn yuuji.

a fox never leaves a mark, says your shitty grandfather in the back of your head. you can hear his voice clear as a temple bell, loud and tolling. a fox doesn't die from a slit belly either but this is pure steel straight through the spine, all the way across your chest and down. you loll your head backwards and stretch, feel the long blade scrape raw against your bones. ah. you're gonna die here.

so what.

it's a slow death and you're mad about that but so what. shitty yuuji is still alive isn't he? you've won haven't you?

you're lying to yourself. so what?

what does it matter here, with the rage seething through your blood, boiling in red, sizzling where it hits the ground. you've never been this angry. your anger has never been this useless. your teeth sharpen fruitlessly, aching. the longing for violence starts where you end and ends where you begin and you want to tear through someone's throat. you can't. you've never been this useless and the anger leaves you, taking with it the last thread of gold keeping you alive.

the sleeves of your kimono are heavy with blood and water, snow-melt at the back of your neck. you're going to die cold. that's the worst part. you're not the type of fox who is built for the cold even though you're strong. the blood comes up your mouth in bubbles when you laugh at yourself. half a dozen tails and you're going to die here in the cold. you were so _close_.

frost lines your lashes and freezes your eyes shut so you can't open them. your lungs are too full to breathe through. the last of your heartbeat is in your ears, faint like the sound of wings-beats from far away.

goddamn yuuji. you're going to get him back for this.

* * *

a note: ?. this happened.


	2. sun

you remember what it was like being _more_

you remember

you are —

slit pupils contracting liquid silver burning blue something strains at the end of your throat & you try to pull yourself apart — tear through dead nerves and snap bones between your teeth, try to drag yourself from this body so you can _live _again

it doesn't work like that it seems

you will never be more than you are

human & burning with it

blood trickles red down the side of your face and you watch it drip drip drip down the curve of your chin & drop drop drop slow down to the earth

pathetic

you have never hated a wound this much, never hated the sight of red more in your life

pathetic

your chest swells with the agony of it all, a burning needle set against the taut tension surface and when it bursts you go nuclear with it, starshot and screaming

human & burning with it

human & bleeding red to the bitter end

* * *

you resolve yourself to hatred & perfection

the slow rise of your lashes from your cheeks catches the light & scatters it into lines, rainbow filaments spinning behind your eyelids and shifting solid as you open your eyes

you are a study

you swallow success and it burns sweet all the way down, shivering at the back of your tongue, a constant

you learn your body & it never sits right with you

you fail on the first step but excel at the second

you are given the sun

* * *

he is small

you love him

you are human

& burning with it

* * *

magnesium flare bright — a cry for help that is never heard, never answered

* * *

think gold

think beast with an open maw

think brother with rows of snarling teeth

think think think

* * *

go back to beginning.

start again.

tell the story right, idiot.

* * *

a note: so. this continued into a strange little experimental thing. next up: beginning.


End file.
